Tuesday, February 3, 2009

"The Power of New Shoes"

Wouldn't it be easy to just change your life like you change your shoes? If your shoes are worn out from rough road, and your path has too many patches of gum and dog doo, you just head to Target for a new pair. Can it be that simple?

In theory, yes. You can discard old attitudes and behaviors that no longer serve you. But sometimes pulling those shoes off your feet is like struggling with those yellow rubber boots that won't let go - unless you get someone else to help pull them off.

That is the essence of this blog - to help you pull off those boots which have been soiled with the mud of childhood abuse, which have sustained years of wear and tear, and which have stubbornly clung to your feet even when you know it is time to discard them. It is time for you to find "The Power of New Shoes". You deserve it.

My worn out shoes now sit in my closet where I honor their struggle. They will forever be my history and they kept me alive. Perhaps I should bronze the baby shoes that sustained years of sexual abuse by my biological father, and I should covet the vintage, fashion-challenged "Earth" shoes of my teenage years. Those ugly things were at least comfortable at a time when my hurting feet hit the streets as a runaway. Then they got stuck in those yellow rubbers. I felt trapped in a life of drugs, self-abuse, and the need to continue running from my pain.

Through the help from a runaway shelter, I got a glimmer of hope that the boots could come off. With the assistance of therapists and the support of other brave survivors, I am now sporting some "support shoes" (Hey, I'm 45 what do you expect!) They probably need trashed by the "What Not to Wear" hosts, but they keep me from hurting, and they no longer have a wounded soul. And the best of all, they allow me to nurture a large stinky shoe from my pre-teen son and a little pink pair with blinky-lights from my little girl. You see, my children taught me the true meaning of love, because they possess the power of new shoes.

The power of new shoes is waiting for you. You can get the boots off - and keep them off. In this blog, I will post excerpts from my upcoming book - guess what it's called- "The Power of New Shoes: Stepping Into Life After Sexual Trauma" These are short, easy-to read stories from my recovery process offered so that survivors might find some "normalizing" of their experiences. Perhaps you may find yourself within these tales, but know that it is not intended as therapy or advice, but only as a "this worked for me" reference. I have been out of the rubber boots for a very long time, so I think I have done something right that I want to share with others.

Blessings for your journey...your new shoes await!


  1. Hi, Bonnie. It was so nice to be able to interact with you in the Webinar today. I look forward to reading the rest of this blog and hope that you will post more soon.

    I really like the way you use the changing of shoes to show the stages of healing that you went through. It is a very interesting analogy.

    I agree that it would be nice to be able to heal as easily as changing shoes...but as we both know...it is not. Then again...I always struggle with finding shoes that I can actually comfortably wear and afford! LOL

    I will contact you soon.

  2. Hi Flower,

    Thank your for the kind words. I enjoyed being a part of webinar technology and being able to connect with others all over the country - now if we can just get the slides to post :)

    The shoe analogy came to me while visiting the Holocaust Memorial in D.C. There was a room filled entirely with shoes of the victims of that horrific expereince. They just spoke to me and were so very "real" in the silent way they told their story. So I decided to tell my story with the help of my shoes.

    I look very forward to connecting with you in the near future.


  3. Wow! That must have been a powerful experience to see those shoes...and then wonder about the feet that fit into them...about the people who wore them.

    BTW, I remember those "Earth" shoes! Couldn't afford a pair, but I remember them!

  4. They were the ugliest shoes on the planet - so you didn't miss much!

    Yes, seeing those shoes stole my breath away. It was one of the most powerful memorials I have ever seen - there were men's shoes, work boots, colorful high heels, and most tragic, the shoes of little children and babies. Each of those shoes carried a person who probably had a rich life turned upside down.